


Hungover by killing

by RosadelValle



Series: Heart of darkness [3]
Category: Narcos (TV), Narcos: Mexico (TV)
Genre: Classism, Death, hungover by killing, i guess we could call it that, killing is physically demanding, miguel is depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 08:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosadelValle/pseuds/RosadelValle
Summary: A study about the dyamics between dealers and right wing lunatics.It was always some variation of the same concept: Miguel wasn’t and would never be one of them. No matter how much weed or cocaine he could move, how much money he could make… he was destined to remain someone who entered their world from the back door. He was painfully aware of it, the way the governor and that politician behaved around him became so uncomfortable he actually gave up the idea of considering them anything more than mere business partners. But they were at least able to fake some sympathy and sometimes feigned a resemblance of camaraderie. Not Nava. He always looked at Miguel with such barely contained hatred and visceral repulsion it almost intimidated him.





	Hungover by killing

**Author's Note:**

> A study about the dyamics between dealers and right wing lunatics.  
> Possibly the last part of the series, not sure tho.

 

There were many things that Miguel disliked: losing money, losing time and having to make compromises with people who weren’t able to understand his plan. But there was something he hated even more: being dismissed. Miguel had been dismissed his whole life before he became a boss, el Jefe de jefes: he was just a cop, a small dealer, a Sinaloan guy without a name. Some people kept dismissing him even now, treating him like a common thug: the governor, that fatass politician… Nava.

 

Of course he had planned to make him pay for his annoying arrogance. Of course he wanted to kill him. Not like that though: when he picked up the ashtray he did so just to smash it on Nava’s big nose. But then he simply couldn’t stop, he was free falling and nothing could have stopped him. Because you see… bashing someone’s head in is very different from shooting them: it’s feral, it’s primal and it releases an enormous amount of adrenaline. When his legs collapsed and he fell to the floor next to Nava’s bloody corpse, Miguel felt suspiciously good, almost like after a very intense fuck.

 

The problem was the day after, when he woke up feeling like shit. Hungover by killing: it’s a real thing, you know? When all the adrenaline and the feeling of euphoria drop, you are left to deal with the consequences of your acts and clean up the mess (metaphorically speaking, since the actual mess was taken care of by the extremely professional cleaning crew of the hotel). This kind of down can be difficult to handle and it can take a man down to a depressing path, the one Miguel was already walking on. Killing Nava didn’t make him feel as better as he thought it would have because yeah… he was dead and finally out of the game, but what he had said to him all those times was still alive in his head.

They teach you to punish those who disrespect you to make things even, but the problem is that even after you made them pay, the things that were done to you couldn’t be erased. It happened.

 

That fucker Nava knew exactly what to say to mess with him, to annoy and even to hurt him. It was always some variation of the same concept: Miguel wasn’t and would never be one of them. No matter how much weed or cocaine he could move, how much money he could make… he was destined to remain someone who entered their world from the back door. He was painfully aware of it, the way the governor and that politician behaved around him became so uncomfortable he actually gave up the idea of considering them anything more than mere business partners. But they were at least able to fake some sympathy and sometimes feigned a resemblance of camaraderie. Not Nava. He always looked at Miguel with such barely contained hatred and visceral repulsion it almost intimidated him. 

Once, after yet another demand for money, he was so exasperated he ended up asking Azul what the fuck was wrong with his boss. 

 

_ He needs money to fight the guerrillas and the others. He’s on a mission to save the country from communism and disorder. Got friends down in Nicaragua, Argentina… but you met some of them. He went to the SOA* as a young agent but that’s not my thing.  _

 

And it was then that he kinda understood what the deal was. The DFS boss saw Miguel not exactly like an enemy but more like a… some kind of insect to squash. But nobody wants to feel like an insect and that’s why he killed him, after all.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *Soa = https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Hemisphere_Institute_for_Security_Cooperation


End file.
